*Just for fun* "You know you're a Cop/Teacher If....

I'd thought I'd share this to give everyone a little insight into both Tyson and my jobs. They are SO true and SO very funny for the both of us. We couldn't stop laughing it was so true. So sit back and enjoy........Here are lists of things that explain how you know you're a cop and teacher. The teacher is first, then the cop. I've decided to add in a little commentary.

HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TEACHER?
1. You can hear 25 voices behind you and know exactly which one belongs to the child out of line. (YEP!)

2. You get a secret thrill out of laminating something. (HA HA! I DO. I EVEN HAVE MY OWN LAMINATOR!)

3. You walk into a store and hear the words "It's Ms/Mr._________" and know you have been spotted. (Yep! The mall and grocery store is where I get spotted.)

4. You have 25 people that accidentally call you mom/dad at one time or another. (Once this has happened)

5. You can eat a multi-course meal in under twenty-five minutes. (You're constantly go, go, go)

6. You've trained yourself to go to the bathroom at two distinct times ofthe day: lunch and conference period. (HA HA...YEP!)

7. You start saving other people's trash, because most likely, you usethat toilet paper tube or plastic butter tub for something in the classroom. (OH MY GOD! SO TRUE!!!)

8. You believe the teachers' lounge should be equipped with a margarita machine. (Amen!)

9. You want to slap the next person who says "Must be nice to work 7:15to 3:15 and have summers off." (YES! I DO!)

10. You believe chocolate is a food group.

11. You can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside. (YESSSS!!!!)

12. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says"Boy, the kids sure are mellow today." (Isn't that the truth!)

13. You feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior when you are out in public. (HA! HA! Alllllllll the time!)

14. You believe in aerial spraying of Ritalin. (Agreed!)

15. You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form. (Ugh! YES!)

16. You spend more money on school stuff than you do on yourown children. (I spend too much money on school stuff PERIOD!)

17. You can't pass the school supply aisle without getting at least one thing! (DUH!)

18. You ask your friends if the left hand turn he just made was a "good choice or a bad choice." (HA! HA! I've slipped a few times.)

19. You find true beauty in a can full of perfectly sharpened pencils. (Or any pencils at all!)

20. You are secretly addicted to hand sanitizer. (Geting there)

21. You understand instantaneously why a child behaves a certain way after meeting his or her parents. (HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!! I always say in my head, "NO WONDER!" after I meet the parent(s) of a particular child.)

YOU KNOW YOU'RE A COP IF:
1. You have the bladder capacity of five people

2. You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience (So true!)

3. You believe that 50% of people are a waste of good air (He says it all the time)

4. Your idea of a good time is a "man with a gun" call (YEP! After my ride along and seeing a few videos, Tyson and his cop buddies go crazy any time they get a call like this.)

5. You conduct a criminal record check on anyone who seems friendly towards you (YEP!)

6. You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac and birth control pills (Again, he says this all of the time)

7. You disbelieve 90% of what you hear and 75% of what you see (HA HA!! Tysons' always skeptical!)

8. You have your weekends off planned for a year (To an extent)

9. You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce

10. You refer to your favorite restaurant by the intersection at which it's located (He talks to me about where things are located by intersection)

11. You have ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled: "Suicide... getting it right the first time (ha ha! RIGHT!)

12. You ever had to put the phone on hold before you begin laughing uncontrollably (HECK! I laugh uncontrollably after hearing the crazy stories from work the night before)

13. You think caffeine should be available in IV form (He's always working and working so late!)

14. You believe anyone who says, "I only had two beers" is going to blow more than a .O8 on the Breathalyzer (Yes people!!! Don't just say you had 2 beers because you and that cop both know that's a lie!)

15. You find out a lot about paranoia just by following people around (YES!!!!!! Again, Tysons' always skeptical.)

16. Anyone has ever said to you: "There are people killing other people out there and you are here messing with me." (He HATES comments like this)

17. People flag you down on the street and ask you directions to strange places... and you know where they're located (He knows where EVERYTHING practically is.)

18. You can discuss where you are going to eat with your partner while standing over a dead body (Gross, but it's true)

19. You are the only person introduced at social gatherings by profession (UGH! Tyson hates this)

20. You walk into places and people think it's high comedy to grab their buddy and shout, "They've come to get you, Bill." (Again....Tyson hates this)

21. You do not see daylight from November until May (To a certain extent..... true!)

22. People shout, "I didn't do it!" when you walk into a room and think they're being hugely funny and original (Another one of those things Tyson hates)

23. A week's worth of laundry consists of 5 T-shirts, 5 pairs of socks,and 5 pairs of underwear (Yes! I'm always washing darks which usually consists of his work socks, shirts, etc. I'm starting to think he lives in those clothes.)
24. You've ever referred to Tuesday as "my weekend", or "this is my Friday." (YEP! It always throws me off)

25. You've ever written off guns and ammunition as a business deduction (HA! HA! Every year!)

26. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, it sure is quiet tonight." (Just like me!)

27. Discussing dismemberment over a meal seems perfectly normal to you (Yeah. You should hear some of the conversations)
28. You find humor in other people's stupidity (YES!!!! And I love hearing stories!)

29. You have left more meals on the restaurant table than you've eaten (Sad, but true)

30. You feel good when you hear "these handcuffs are too tight." (YEP! Serves them right!)